It’s time we stopped trying to please everyone.

Every single individual is taught and educated to be a good human being, so am I, so are you, so are the people who have mistreated us. Have you ever, in life, wanted to scream at someone’s face because they are anything but nice? Well, I have, many times. And if you haven’t, you are a lucky person. Maybe not.

I believe that human should be nice to each other, not just because we have social relationships and duties, but also because everyone goes through all kinds of dramas in their lives, so we deserve kindness. However, sometimes, some people aren’t worth your kindness and you have to accept that, although it sounds harsh. It’s obvious that we shouldn’t be mean to people who upset us, but maybe it’s time we stopped pleasing them with our sincere. I know this statement is bold and might sound absurd, but I will show you reasons why it’s true.

First of all, you cannot please everyone and your pleasant matters too. Being raised by a caring Mom, I’m strongly affected by her way of living, which is always be nice to people, even when they give her hard times. My Mom will never turn anyone’s wishes down, tell anyone off or hurt anyone. Absolutely never. People undoubtedly see this and some of them have been taking advantage of my Mom’s kindness by lying to her, fooling her around, and even accusing her of something bad she didn’t commit. I have witnessed her suffer the consequences of rumors and false reputation and it devastates me. Sometimes, I’ll come to her and tell her to stop being so nice to people who don’t deserve her but she will always say: “Just because someone treats you bad, it doesn’t mean you have to stop being nice to them.” As much as I respect my Mom, I will never understand this. One more drawback of pleasing everyone is conflicts happen all the time because when you please this person, another one might not be pleased. A classic example is when you are in between two friends who are fighting against each other. Most of the time, even though you choose to be neutral, you still get blamed on for “choosing side”. Well, people are funny!

Personally, I’ve gone through situations where people whom I appreciate just betray me like it is nothing. I was friend with this girl for more than seven years, we were like family, nothing could tear us apart until she started dating my ex. I was totally fine with the fact that they were dating, I even congratulated them on that, as I’d moved on and I had nothing against any of them. To my surprise, she stopped talking to me and ignored me when she saw me. I was shocked and hurt by how my 7-year bestfriend decided to turn her back on me over a person she’d met for only few months. On realizing her attitude changes, I stopped trying to contact and caring about her, because what was the point of investing your kindness into a person who doesn’t appreciate it? It was painful to move on from that, but I knew I deserved to be happy, with or without her, so I made efforts to pay more attention to my own happiness instead of trying to rebuild our relationship. At the end of the day, you are still the one who’s got your own back, not your family, not your friends, it’s you.

The second reason why it’s time we stopped pleasing everyone is there are some particular individuals that you will never be able to please, no matter how hard you try. I’m sure you’ve heard of “love at first sight,” but what about “hate at first sight?”. In life, some people will instantly have prejudice against you without even talking to you. I used to work as a waitress at a big French restaurant when I was 18 and one of my supervisors didn’t like me at all. I’m not being subjective here, because my colleagues could tell that I definitely wasn’t that woman’s cup of tea, too. It was my first job, which means I didn’t have any working experience; however, as a fast learner I am, I was praised by my boss, and liked by my colleagues. But somehow, one of my supervisors, let’s name her Supervisor A, never gave me a tiny compliment. Instead, she was accusing me of impoliteness and disrespect towards her, very particularly. Whenever I was under her supervision, I would be told off by ridiculous “mistakes” such as my shoes, my hair or my nails, about which no one had any problems. One time she demanded that I have a meeting with her to evaluate my performance. I clearly didn’t expect her to be such a malicious person during the talk. At first it was just about the job, but then she got extremely personal about “perhaps my family didn’t raise me to be a well-behaved person” and I got offended, of course. After that, I still worked at the restaurant but I wouldn’t talk to her if it was about work. She kept nagging at me, but I left it out of my ears by not listening to her (only when I knew I was doing the right thing and she was just being annoying). Long story short, there are many people who don’t click with you, instead of trying to understand the reasons or making them like you, you should just leave it. It’s beneficial for you, primarily, because being angry at people who don’t like you and treat you bad only makes you a negative person.

Some people are trash. Yes, I said it, some people are trash. Disrespectful, ungrateful, manipulative, deceitful, do you have at least one face showing up in your head? I believe you do, because there are so many mean people in this world and no one is ever lucky enough to not encounter one. Lots of people aren’t naturally bad but they just don’t know how to be nice when they receive kindness. Instead, they take that for granted, or even walk over the people who were pleasing them with comfort and good will. Have you ever got back stabbed by a person who you always treat affectionately? Welcome to the world. This happens even more frequently in girls’ world, I suppose. They don’t make movies like “Mean Girls” or “Clueless” for no reasons. As a girl who don’t behave like a normal girl does, I get plenty of complains and rumors. The most recent ones were by two girls in my international student group, surprise! They were basically telling people that I was a bitch, how pathetic! The funny things here are they don’t even know me, I’ve never harmed them in any means, and I was being very nice to them when we first met. I have no idea what their problems with me are but I don’t have intention of figuring out either, because what goes around comes back around. The moment I knew they were trash, I stopped paying attention to them as human beings. In another way, I ignore them. I’ve never rained on their parades, talked bad behind their backs or offended them ever since, because I know clearly that I do not need negativity in my life. In my point of view, they are just poignant and immature. Was I mad? Yes, I was, after making efforts to be friends with them? Yes, I was mad. Nonetheless, I decided that they aren’t worth my concern. Considering them as invisible objects has helped me so much in experiencing my time in Lock Haven to the fullest with people who cherish me. Thus, if you ever feel like a person, whom you respect, disrespects you, stop wasting your time and affection, instead, get yourself an ice-cream, it doesn’t play Judas at you.

The problem I’m talking about is slightly controversial but it’s the truth, and the truth isn’t so pretty. Never ever before have I stopped being nice to people and I do it not because I’m scared of karmas. I do it because I enjoy helping, supporting and comforting people. This world is already chaotic with deadly problems, we don’t need more hatred, because hatred breeds hatred. Notwithstanding, make sure you give the right amount of compassion to the right person.

 

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